Why I'm Not Apologizing for This Chaotic Summer
I am a morning person. Like, wake-up-at-6am-feeling-refreshed kind of morning person. So when I tell you that the idea of my daughters sleeping until 10am makes me cringe so hard it feels physically wrong... you'll understand why this summer has been a constant internal battle.
But here I am, at 9:30am, sipping my second cup of coffee in blissful quiet while each girl has slowly awoken, one by one. And you know what? I'm not apologizing for it anymore.
The "Failures" Are Everywhere
Don't get me wrong - this house is chaos. Like, legitimate chaos. Most of the time, my daughters' room look like a tornado hit it. Without their printed morning routines, they forget their medication. They forget to ask permission before turning on shows or games. There are otter pop wrappers scattered across the yard like confetti from the world's stickiest party.
The little annoyances pile up. The forgetfulness is real. Some days I look around and think, "What am I even doing here?"
But Then There's the Magic
And then Z. and S. drag cotton balls out to the trampoline for a "snowball fight" and make snow angels on the black mesh.
And then I find all three older girls in the backyard, each with a spoon and a half a watermelon between them, sitting in the grass like it's the most natural thing in the world.
And then I discover that E. has been teaching herself piano with an app, but keeps stopping the lessons to play music by ear. By ear. I had no idea she could do that.
The Relationships Are Blooming
Out of my four daughters, there are always the natural pairings. E. and S. seem to always be together. Z. is constantly chasing them around, desperate to be included. H. is usually on the phone with her best friend (teen years are JUST around the corner!) or sitting at her desk writing stories and drawing.
But summer has mixed up these pairings in the most beautiful way. I'll find H. and S. doing something E. and S. would never think to do together. Or E. and Z. running off to watch an episode of a show they both love but no one else cares about.
It's really sweet to see their relationships bloom when there's time and space for them to just... be.
When I Stopped Fighting It
There's so much laughter. SO many new ideas and games they think up on their own. So much bonding. So much creativity.
How often in life do you get to just wake up and live? Uncomplicated, not always necessarily aiming to accomplish anything intentionally?
Can you imagine as a child not having these types of days? Unstructured, playing from sun up to sun down, ending the day a sweaty little mess?
Here's What I've Learned
Sure, a lot of development happens through routine and structure and learning mathematics and language arts. But step away from taking that learning lead for a short season, and watching them just BE is really fun too.
There's a time and place for everyone. A season for everything.
I fight the guilt of not having more structure in place for them all season long. But why? Why do I feel like I need to apologize for letting them sleep in, for the late-night s'mores, for the root beer floats, for the absolute lack of agenda?
Summer and Christmastime are the most magical seasons for kids. They're still magical for me for that exact reason.
So this summer, I'm choosing to notice the magic instead of counting the messes. I'm choosing to see the cotton ball snowball fights instead of the forgotten chores. I'm choosing to celebrate the watermelon-eating, the piano-playing-by-ear, the sibling bonds that are forming in the spaces between structure.
Because sometimes, the most beautiful learning happens when we're not trying to teach anything at all.
What magic are you noticing in your own beautifully chaotic summer?
